Really need your views this time guys..
Unfortunately there is no one to whom I can ask these questions except myself and you all. And I seriously cannot give answers to myself because it confuses me more and more questions arise out of it.
I am a person who is very sensitive and emotional and these traits combined create a lot of problems in one’s life when certain situations arrive in front of you. I am also a person who never wants to do wrong things or does not want to make mistakes. I know no one really wishes to do so. But in my case whenever I am given some job to do I try really hard not to make any mistakes and do the work with perfection and sincerity. Not only this, I am also very conscious about these things and I also feel like I am being observed and judged on the basis of whatever steps I am taking. And that is why I don’t want to present myself as a careless person because I never care less, I always care more. I take it as a harm to my sincerely created image or identity. Every person who meets me, I always try to imagine what would they think of me if I react in a certain way. And this whole thought process makes me what I am not. And mistakes affect me more than anything. Maybe it is just embarrassment that affects me. I don’t know.
Like for example this post. I know you must be thinking of me as a self obsessed person who is wasting your time just talking about himself/herself and you must be losing interest in this whole thing.
This is how I am. This is not a problem in my opinion. The problem actually is that I consider others the same way as I am. Like I don’t want others also to make mistakes. Why? is the question here. Why can’t I accept the fact when people close to me make mistakes or are about to do so? Why do I always feel like I should correct them and bring them back on right track? I care for them and I should. But to that extent that I start observing them as I believe everyone observes me. Is it correct? Maybe I have a habit of spying on everyone but myself. Or maybe I am too much concerned about their lives and how they are being judged, forgetting the fact that they have their own lives and I have my own to look after.
So is it just my concern or interference in others lives? Should I leave my close mates on their own even when I suspect that they are doing something wrong? Or should I correct them? But for how long? Even when they don’t like it? Should I stop reacting even when I am trying to do something good for them unconditionally? And what if their mistakes affect my life emotionally or socially? What am I supposed to do then?
These are all the questions which keep on coming in my mind. To which I have no answers. Maybe you too cannot answer them. But if you can, please guide me through. I don’t want to give myself advice regarding this anymore. And if you feel the same as I do, please do share it and let me know that it’s totally normal to feel all this.
Enough of introspection for now..